Alright folks, I know I have had this site disabled for far too long. Many, many things have happened in my life over the past month and a half. (Or 1.5 months, if you prefer that notation.) Anyway, I’ll just start out with some words to place this journal in another perspective. Again.
My perspective on life shifts on a daily basis, but over the past month, it has shifted in what could be called a revolutionary sense. My life has, quite honestly, taken a large turn. Maybe a 180, almost, but I can’t guarantee that. And I think this turn is for the best… I see no reason to believe otherwise.
There are many things here that existed before I temporarily disabled this site, and I have chosen to let them remain here for several reasons. For one, this has served as a diary of sorts, and you don’t generally erase remarks from a diary. Removing them would also be a difficult and tedious task, so it’s easier for me to leave them be. But please remember that many of my past remarks are now obsolete, in the sense that my emotions have changed.
In case you didn’t know, I now have someone special in my life, or so I’d like to think. Her name is Marjorie, or Marj for short. I’ll go ahead and admit it—she doesn’t go to Enloe. I, personally, am not ashamed of it. She does, in fact, go to UNC, and I don’t believe I’ll be going there next year, so only time can reveal what will come of this. I think the term “girlfriend” would be accurate, but I didn’t check with her before I wrote this. This is as close to an “official” statement that I will get, since I am not a big fan of being “official,” and neither is she.
She has seen me go through many firsts, and also many episodes of self-doubt. I tend to beat myself up unjustly, but she has been kind enough and caring enough to stand by my side (more figuratively, since she’s not actually at my house). Being able to be so open with someone has really shifted my life, for the better I believe. She has been my breath of fresh air. I can’t believe I’ve missed out on this for 17 years, because of both ineptitude and denial. That is, I denied to myself that I wanted to be involved in a relationship. I was both the criminal and the victim, packaged up in one twisted mindset.
And with that said, here’s a brief summary of my current situation. Life is mediocre. School is out, Christmas is near, half the year is behind me, and I saw The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. But Marj isn’t here, so it can’t be wonderful. I’ll just have to settle for mediocre right now.
Have a great evening everyone, and more is sure to come in the near future. Wow, is it nice to be back!